Friday, November 5, 2010

The New Sexual Confidence

Research is fun when you're doing a sex book.  Dr. Phillips (who knows what she's talking about) and I are re-writing Sexual Confidence which we wrote ages ago, and a lot of interesting stuff is turning up.

         You're probably too young to remember the sexual revolution set off by the pill in the sixties. There were flowers in her hair, peace, love and understanding and swingers and hippies got to screw anybody they fancied all the time. That was the dream anyway.  The reality was that sex with everybody didn't happen and could seriously damage your mental and physical health if it did.  The party came to an end with herpes, chlamydia, and AIDs.

       Plus a lot of people felt left out of the great swinger and hippy party and elected Republicans to "take back American moral values."

     Along comes the internet and now you too can watch sex all the time with everybody in the form of porn.  All you have to do is click.  Zero risk of VD.  But, porn spreads all kinds of rubbish like women are victims and "the prostitute model of love making" where it's over when the man comes.
              Now here's the good part.  A new study (by Michael J. Rosenfeld, Stanford University and Reuben J. Thomas, The City College of New York) shows 25% of couples today met on the internet.  And while the assumption among a huge number of dating adults is that they'll have sex on the first date (if it's any good it's a miracle because good sex is all about affection, love, trust and communication and how much can you trust a stranger?) the rise of internet dating means that some of the old courtship and getting-to-know-you romance is coming back via emails, texting and twitters.  Instead of instant sex, internet couples are wary, take their time, reveal slowly. This could be good.

              Of course they lie a lot, but that's another story.


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